I drank my first black cup of coffee Sunday while on a frozen lake…alone. Guarded by a L.L. Bean parka, fresh fallen snow, and crisp Maine air; I needed this time more than anything. The first few days of 2015 were spent separated from the the distractions of my daily routine and fall out from the holidays. This separation created the much needed space to take stock in the experiences and the people that brought me to this point. What has 2015 taught me?
Imposter. How easy it was for my mind to be imprisoned by the feeling of being inauthentic. 2015 was filled with change and with change comes unrest. My views on the world, my gender, and politics were shaped and defined. This shift made me feel as though I had to negotiate parts of my identity; suddenly feeling conflicted on issues that were once so secure. This change was most felt among my relationships with the people around me. These relationships are filled with strong, beautiful, intelligent people who are on their own journeys trying to change the world within their own worlds. However, this imposter feeling has caused some reflection on how I interact within these circles and if my former space can be filled by this newer me.
This leads me to a call to action-a new, New Year’s resolution. My resolution is to never stop questioning, to never stop challenging the past, present, or future and to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. Feeling like an imposter is caused by change but change is good. Life is happening all around us and I want to lean fully into it. I am proud of what I have accomplished and the challenges it has provided me. I lift my mug to honor a year of change and toast to a future filled with hope.