Day 15, or ‘I’m So Over This’

Try to think back to an unpleasant day you had at work.

Maybe it’s not a difficult task. Maybe it is. Depends on how you would describe unpleasant.

I’ve had unpleasant days where co-workers have flat out yelled at me for minor discretions. I’ve had days where I’ve dropped IKEA furniture pieces on my feet. And then there are those days I’ve been called in to plunge the toilets in the men’s restroom.

Yet, nothing is coming quite near to the feeling I’ve had this past week, having returned from spending the holidays at home with my family.

I haven’t had one of those typically terrible days at work where all I’ve wanted to do is crawl home and lick my wounds. Instead, my days have become…mundane. I’ve come to the realization that I am ready to move on from my current job.


Somebody needs to update her resume…

Immediately after concluding this I felt dread, anxiety, and guilt. I think in America we’re conditioned to firstly, work constantly, and secondly, have an undying gratitude to our employers. I remember as a kid going in to work with my mom on occasional Saturdays, just so she could make sure she was ahead of the game come the following week. She was incredibly passionate about being a dedicated and productive employee.

I feel guilty for wanting to trade up my position and for wanting new challenges. It’s almost like a betrayal to the company that has taken such good care of me for the last year. I don’t think these feelings will ever go away completely; I’m a people pleaser and I do very much adore my current workplace. However, I don’t want to be someone who stays where they are because they’re too afraid of hurting others or of new opportunities.

In times like these, I find it helpful to go straight to the worst-case scenario. If I found a new job this year, what would realistically happen?

What if my boss gets upset? Ultimately, she should not have final say over my life choices. She’ll have to deal.

What if the new place ends up being a terrible fit? Hopefully interviewing with the company will weed out any major warning signs, but in the end it’s a gamble. I know that I can handle whatever obstacles that are thrown at me, and if I need to move on then I will.

What if I can’t actually find a new job? Sometimes our imagined timelines don’t always pan out, but it’s important to never let the goal fade. I would keep searching in earnest, reimagining a new deadline or plan if the first couldn’t be reached.

I have learned so much in the year plus that I’ve spent in Los Angeles, and especially with my current employer. I plan on staying on a little longer in 2016, but I’ve got a lot of career ahead of me that I think I’m ready to take the next step on, despite how nerve wracking it already feels. In the mean time, I want to dedicate myself to learning as much as I can from my mentors, as well as developing relevant skills on the side (hello web design!).

Have a great weekend everyone 🙂



Day 6: New Year, New Imposter?

I drank my first black cup of coffee Sunday while on a frozen lake…alone. Guarded by a L.L. Bean parka, fresh fallen snow, and crisp Maine air; I needed this time more than anything. The first few days of 2015 were spent separated from the the distractions of my daily routine and fall out from the holidays. This separation created the much needed space to take stock in the experiences and the people that brought me to this point. What has 2015 taught me?


The icy Maine tundra.

Imposter. How easy it was for my mind to be imprisoned by the feeling of being inauthentic. 2015 was filled with change and with change comes unrest. My views on the world, my gender, and politics were shaped and defined. This shift made me feel as though I had to negotiate parts of my identity; suddenly feeling conflicted on issues that were once so secure. This change was most felt among my relationships with the people around me. These relationships are filled with strong, beautiful, intelligent people who are on their own journeys trying to change the world within their own worlds.  However, this imposter feeling has caused some reflection on how I interact within these circles and if my former space can be filled by this newer me.


This leads me to a call to action-a new, New Year’s resolution. My resolution is to never stop questioning, to never stop challenging the past, present, or future and to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. Feeling like an imposter is caused by change but  change is good. Life is happening all around us and I want to lean fully into it. I am proud of what I have accomplished and the challenges it has provided me. I lift my mug to honor a year of change and toast to a future filled with hope.






The Verdict Part II

MonogramI’ve got to say – this week’s challenge was BRUTAL, and quite honestly I wasn’t expecting it to be as hard as it was! I was feeling pretty cocky at the start of it. I’m in LA! Thrift stores are on every corner, especially in the nearby hipster neighborhoods. I figured I’d do my typical Goodwill loop and be done before I knew it.

Wrong wrong wrong!

My first weekend of thrifting was a nightmare, and I came out empty handed. I came away from it having learned some valuable lessons:

1) Surround yourself with people who have similar goals. I brought my roommate, who was only tagging along to look at furniture. He’d be finished looking at everything he wanted to before I even made it to the clothes racks. As a result, I felt rushed.

2) Wear the right clothes to try things on. Stick with neutral bras and not too many layers, which can slow down the trying-on process.

3) Be open to trying on new things. At the start, I was very picky about what kinds of clothes I was looking for, and I feel as though I ignored some pretty cool statement pieces that I should have given a chance.

4) Bring hand sanitizer. Just do it.

Having been inspired by Jess’s post, I asked around for some new thrift store destinations and set out for round two. My time at St. Vincent De Paul’s was incredibly fruitful. If Jess was channeling her inner Posh Spice, then say hello to Sporty Spice!

This form fitted sweatshirt caught my eye as soon as I saw the employees hang it. Aside from a small tear on the front, it’s practically brand new. Because the temperature fluctuates like crazy here, I’m all about layering, and so I paired it with this cute camping T-shirt!

Throw on some dark skinnies and a pair of sweet sneaks and you’re ready to tour the town.


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The Verdict

Happy Friday! It has been a crazy week of weather up in New England. Blizzard Juno and the crazy weather systems on the way, have left nothing but beautiful mounds of snow and days locked indoors. With 36 inches and counting, it is clear that we have a long time till spring hits. I plan to use my weekend cleaning up more snow and getting cozy in my wonderful thrift shop find!Music can change the world because it (1)

Hours before Juno was to hit, I slid my way into a local thrift shop. I quickly sifted through the racks to find this gem. At only $8, this over-sized, button up was exactly what I was looking for. Styled simply with a tee and leggings, this kept me perfectly toasty with my Bean boots (slightly obsessed).

Andover Thrift Shop

How can I forget about this this number. It was tucked away among all of the over-sized broaches! No place for this sort of bling. I was ready to haggle the price down, but for $10 I already felt like it was a steal.

Salvation ArmyI really loved this challenge! It has been forever since I truly appreciated the wonders of a thrift shop. The fact that they are family owned, made for an even better treat! I also appreciate how far $20 can get me.

Check out the websites to these local thrift shops!

Andover thrift shop

Salvation Army

Jess (2)