I drank my first black cup of coffee Sunday while on a frozen lake…alone. I needed this time more than I did in any other moment. Guarded by an amazing parka, fresh fallen snow, and crisp Maine air, I had the perfect setting for reflection. Even thinking back on it today, the first few days secluded in an icy tundra was the best way to ring in the New Year and reflect. What has 2015 taught me? What are my big resolutions and aspirations for 2016?
One of my first feelings of the New Year can be closely defined by the imposter syndrome theory. This theory states the in ability to internalize your accomplishments, in my case, what I accomplished and became in 2015. These accomplishments and experiences have shaped me into a person that I did not realize was different until this past weekend. From my political beliefs to my view on gender, I have gone through a positively challenging year. I think the biggest area to be affected by this “new me” (sorry for the cliché) is my relationships to the people around me. I put a lot of value in the groups I surround myself with. All of these groups are filled with strong, beautiful, intelligent people hoping to change the world within their worlds. However, this imposter feeling has caused a moment pause and reflection on how I interact in these social circles and if my space can be filled by this newer version of myself.
My resolution is to never stop questioning, to never stop challenging the past, present, or the future. It is also to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Feeling like an imposter shows that change is happening and that you have achieved something; which in turn pushes me to continue to grow.