You’ll never believe it (because I hardly can), but I’m home on the east coast for the holidays! Currently, I’m cozied up on the couch in front of a blazing fire and our decorated tree, cuddling with my Pomeranian, Fritz. Yesterday was my family’s crazy annual Christmas party, where we eat junk food and each buy one ornament. It was amazing to see everyone at last, and it felt like I’d never been away at all.
While I have a lot to look forward to this vacation, there is one person I’m extra especially excited to see – my boyfriend! It’s been a year since we’ve seen each other. Yep, you read that right. One. Whole. Year. Probably almost to the day. A bit of background for you: my BF and I got together right after I graduated high school (he was the grade below me), and then he went into the Marine Corps immediately after he graduated. At first we went about
three months without seeing each other, while he was in boot camp. Gradually, the stretches got longer and longer, and for the last two years we’ve only seen each other at Christmas, when we return to NH. Oh, did I mention he’s stationed in Hawaii?
Most people I tell this to jump to the conclusion that we’re either crazy or 100% soul mates. I’ll be honest – while in many ways, being long distance is difficult, it’s kind of lazy dating. We don’t have to make plans every week with one another, or worry about how our schedules or work or travel will affect one another. The normal every day wear and
tear that comes with a relationship spent in the same time zone is nonexistent for us.
That being said, we’ve worked hard for the relationship we do have. What’s worked for us is being upfront about issues that have come up. My BF is not great at communication. In fact, he’s down right horrible at it. Sometimes, getting him to call me has been like pulling teeth. Not that he doesn’t want to chat with me, he’s just a little uncomfortable on the phone. I, on the other hand, could talk your ear off if you’d let me. What we’ve found is a comfortable middle ground – texting and Snapchat are our primary go-to’s, but he knows to call me at least every other week to say hi.
While we continue to work on communication, honesty is something we’ve had since day one. I remember the night we went to dinner, right before he enlisted, and he asked me to lay all of my cards out on the table. How was I feeling about everything? he wanted to know. Did I want to be with a guy that was going into the military, bound for destinations unknown? I told him I was hesitant at first, but I wanted to give it a try, at the very least.
That was four years ago. Since then, we’ve been careful to check in with one another, see how we’re doing with the distance. We agreed that if at any point we found someone else who was a little closer, we would be upfront about it and not lead the other person to think you were still 100% involved.
So far though, so good. Obviously, long distance isn’t for everyone, but we seem to have found our rhythm with it. In fact, I’m almost nervous to see him, because we’re both a year older and (hopefully) a year wiser. In many ways, we’ve changed. Sometimes I worry I’ve forgotten little important details about him – how he likes his eggs, his favorite shows, his cologne. While the future is still unknown, in regards to both of our career trajectories, we’re hoping this is one of the last years we spend so much time apart. Two days until he’s stateside!!! I can hardly wait.
May your holidays be filled with love, laughter, and lots of sugar this year.